angels cry with you

Dear Carlisle May,

how are you? i hope and pray that you are happy in your new place. janice and i planned to visit you this saturday but she sent me a message that you went away already.
you went downhill too fast.

i don’t want to ask anybody how and why that happened. it’s funny, you don’t even know me at all and i’m writing you this. i heard about you through my sister. she said, she’s sad about you and how you were feeling physically. she said you’re an outstanding student and the first ever cum laude in CNU’s BSN department. that’s must be a very good achievement. your parents must be very proud of you then. i think everyone in CNU are proud of you too. my sister said that you are two years ahead of her and she looks at you as a role model. i can tell. she’s a bright girl too. by the way, i’m Roda May. you see, i dreamt of you last week twice in a row wearing a pink tee top. you kinda looked happy. i just don’t understand why you hugged me so tight in my dream.i can still feel how tight your hug was right now. i can still remember how you looked like in my dream even if i haven’t seen you before. it’s amazing how two people meet in dreams without knowing each other in person,isn’t it? when you hugged me, i felt a terrible pain that i can’t explain. don’t get me wrong. it’s not about how you hugged me. i felt the pain inside me. i can’t tell where exactly but i know my heart was hurting bad when you hugged me. it felt like being stabbed a thousand times. i think you felt the pain twice as much as i do. when you felt the pain, did you ever think that nobody felt it like you do? did you ever think that God didn’t care? i hope not. i really don’t know what is the significance of me dreaming about you. i don’t really like to comment on message boards about what i think about you. i just..i just don’t like to talk about the possibilities that you’re gonna die so soon. i just hate the thought of somebody dying. i know that it is written unto man once to die. but who wants to die so soon when you are full of hopes, right? i don’t really know you so why should i care? but that’s not the case. some things are the way they are and words just can’t explain. it was raining hard today. i hate it when heavens cry.i hate the fact that i’d get soakin’ wet and dirty. i’m sure you hated it too. i know you don’t want your all-white uniform to get dirty too when it rains.

 i wanna tell you something. i guess i was too late to tell you this.

“When you cry cause it hurts, doesn’t mean that you’re not heard. because aloud in heaven, Angels cry with you.”

i think i know why it rained so hard today. the angels couldn’t stop their tears from falling. you know what, i felt it rained on my cheeks when i read janice’s message.

i didn’t even have the chance to talk to you on saturday anymore. it’s alright. i understand.
i hope to see you some sweet day. Say hi to Jesus for me.

Nice to meet you in my dreams calai. May you rest in peace.

-Roda May